THE KIND OF MOM I HOPE TO BE

I was sitting in church a couple of weeks ago and the lesson was on Motherhood and the role we play. The man who was teaching with deep concern in his voice asked " Women, explain to me why you feel you must be perfect?" As I thought about this, many thoughts came to mind. I remember talking to my mom one day when I was discouraged and she said "Gina, you want everything to be perfect. You want a perfect house, perfect kids, a perfect dog(which we had at the time, who was not so perfect in the house training department and that is why we don't have her anymore) you want everything to be perfect and you need to take time to stand back and breath. Your kids are not going to remember the few toys that were on the floor or the laundry that wasn't folded as soon as it was dry. They are going to remember the times you got down to play with them with those toys that were on the floor or wrap them in the clean laundry that has not yet been folded and play hide and seek. I have remembered those words of advice and have tried so hard to be the kind of mom the kids would like me to be, the kind that Dan would want me to be, and the kind Heavenly Father knows I can be. I think all of us try to be perfect because of two things we as moms and women try very hard to avoid and that is letting others down and the thought of disappointment and failure. We are responsible for taking care of the kids, teaching them, nurturing them, taking care of all the meals, the laundry, cleaning the house, do our visiting teaching, take care of our callings, be a taxi driver, make sure our family holds family home evening, make sure homework gets done..(I could go on and on)and many other things. We try to spread ourselves thin enough that all of those needs get met and still hold it altogether without pulling our hair out because if we start slacking on any of our responsibilities we think we are a disappointment to others or not a good enough mom to our children. At the end of his lesson with tears in his eyes he said "mothers, just know and always remember that those beautiful children chose YOU, not someone you think is a better version of you. They wanted you, with all your faults and weaknesses, YOU are the PERFECT mom for those exact children. Which brings me to my next thought. I was reading one of my cute cousins blogs and in it she posed the question "Do you ever wonder how your kids will remember you as a mom?" I have been thinking a lot about that and what my kids will think and the times with me they will remember. It's funny the times with your parents that you remember no matter how big or small. I remember playing house with a store and a Doctors office with my sisters. My mom would make graham crackers with chocolate frosting for us to buy at the "store" and give us smarties to be the pills for the "Doctors office." I remember all the talks I had with my dad after my dates when he would want to know how they were and if I had fun. Or when I would go places with my mom and we would sing songs instead of listen to the radio. She would always let me choose a few and one of my favorites was "the spirit of God." I also remember the harder times growing up and always being able to go to my mom for help or spiritual advice about what the best or nicest thing to do was. Even in my adult life (because you never stop being a mom) when trials arise, some that have stripped me of everything I am and in the end have just left me with a broken heart, I have still turned to my mom for help, advice, and ways to just make it from day to day during those times. I am so lucky to have the mom I do and though she will probably never read this I want to say she was and is the kind of mom I hope to be. I want to teach my kids about sacrifice and that rewards come only after the work is done. I want to teach them that life isn't about how much you make, how fast your car goes or how big your house is. I want to teach them about forgiveness and how to let go and still truly love. I want to teach them about kindness and how to open their hearts to others in need. I want to teach them how important family is and how to be there for one another. I want to teach them that every situation can be resolved without screaming or yelling. I want to teach them that true happiness does not come in a box or with a price tag attached. I want to teach them how to always think of others and how being selfish can destroy any relationship. I want to teach them how far a kind word can go. I want to teach them about the power of prayer. And finally, I want to teach them about the gospel and how no matter what age they may be or the struggles they face that they can always turn to our Father in Heaven to strengthen them and pull them through. With that being said I wonder--what times and things will my little kids remember of me. Will they remember the times I got after them for throwing fits and sent them to their room. Or the times they asked me to play with them and I said "no" because I was too busy trying to get things done. Or will they remember the times I held them at night after a scary dream or sang to them at bedtime because they couldn't sleep. Or just something as simple as putting a band-aid on after a fall with a hug and a kiss to follow. Above all, I want them to remember how much I truly love each of them, their little personalities, their smiles, their laughs and how happy they make me. I look back at the lesson we had at church and the sweet words of our teacher and hope and pray with all of my heart that my children will one day look back and be able to say "she was the perfect mom for me."